10 to 1, a Double Anniversary!

So Today is the Tenth Anniversary of our son Josiah’s Liver Transplant, & he has come such a long, long way! We are so thankful that God has seen fit to preserve his life & extend it & enrich it in so many ways. Today is also his First Anniversary of his marriage to his lovely wife Rose. Having Josiah be married to a Godly young lady is an incredible & unexpected blessing. God is so good!!!

I’ve written a number of times on the transplant anniversary & many times in relation to things connected to Josiah’s life & how the special needs situations challenged us in a number of arenas. In fact it’s likely that this blog wouldn’t even exist without the special needs dynamic being particularly difficult for me to personally manage so that I ultimately chose to use blogging, to varying degrees, as an outlet to offload thoughts, feelings, & details that needed a place of expression, even if I might be the only person who would ever read any of it!

So I want to reiterate points I’ve likely made elsewhere when reflecting back on Josiah’s life & just how far God has brought him along on his own journey. When he was very young, no older than 2, when we still lived in Northern Michigan, he was described by an in-home staff person as someone who would likely “never walk nor talk & never read nor write”. Hearing such things spoken over your child is truly a heartbreaking scenario. Thankfully this staff person turned out to be entirely wrong!!! Although J experienced (& continues to wrestle with) many developmental challenges he has far exceeded so many expectations for his life that you can really think of his maturation & success in so many arenas as truly miraculous!

We never thought he’d be able to learn to ride a regular bike, due to many balance & coordination issues, but he finally was able to remove those training wheels when he was so big that his weight was beginning to cause the training wheel supports to bend. He used to get Physical Therapy in a number of places, including at school. The last time the school PT evaluated him he was Raving about how far Josiah had come. He’d never had another student who’d achieved the milestones that Josiah had when having started from a place of such significant challenges. What a tremendous testimonial!

Educators in the special education domain never thought he would be as successful academically as he ended up being. We had Many Battles in the effort to get Josiah’s needs met, as prescribed by special ed law, & were only marginally successful, at best. But God…Josiah has been gifted with a fighting spirit & a determination to never quit & it has kept him going when obstacles would seem insurmountable with our human eyes. Near the end of his high school career when he was on-track to “graduate” (they did not really follow the law nor his IEPs to give him an “appropriate education”…massive sigh) the then Special Ed Administrator for our school district said of Josiah “never was I so glad to have been proven so wrong” in that he thought J wouldn’t graduate & would only achieve a “certificate of completion” & then go on to continuing special ed at a center-based program until aging out at 26 (which was Josiah’s wife’s trajectory).

Many of us thought that Josiah would never hold down a job & that he’d need assistance from “the system” in order to even have a shot at it. Well, after major battle fatigue from duking it out with special ed we all had a very bad taste in our mouths from working with “supportive” systems in our state. Ultimately Josiah found his own job, working PT for our city as a janitor in the city’s community center. He did get support in his job search from his long-term Respite Care Worker but he did not go through the state-level job support systems that he so wanted to avoid. Josiah’s boss attended his wedding & could not stop raving about how much he appreciates Josiah & the caliber of work he does as a janitor.

Josiah has experienced Many Medical Challenges over the years. The biggest hurdle was probably his Liver Transplant that happened 10 years ago today. Before facing that he was born prematurely & started life at only 2# 6oz, while his twin Brandon, who was normal size for their gestational age of 33 1/2 weeks was 5# 4oz. Josiah was hospitalized for 2 1/2 months in the NICU & didn’t come home until after Open Heart Surgery at 2 months old & just 4 pounds. He was hospitalized Twice in his first year of life with RSV & had an additional surgery repairing bilateral inguinal hernias that followed fairly quickly after his First Heart Surgery. He ended up getting myringotomy tubes in his ears before age 2 & had multiple surgeries to repeat this procedure. He had 4 stages of repair for birth defects & a second heart surgery when he was 4 1/2. He had a brain tumor removed (through the nose so no visible scarring!) & surgery on both eyes to unfortunately only partially correct a type of double vision. All of those surgeries, except for 2 of them, were before the Liver Transplant. He’s had 18 or 19 surgeries overall (I’ve, sadly, lost count)…thus far.

The road to the transplant was especially bumpy for me because Josiah required a whole liver, so it meant that in order for him to be transplanted someone else would have to die & their organs be given to others to preserve &/or improve many lives. I really couldn’t get past that part, the loss of someone else’s life for our son’s improved life. I would have much preferred to donate a lobe of my own liver to preserve my son than to see someone else lose their child so ours could go on, better than before. That heartache has never really gone away for me & I am so thankful that another family made the heart-wrenching decision to allow their own child to live on, in a manner of speaking, in the lives of all who would benefit from the sacrificial gift of organ & tissue donation. They truly did give the Gift of Life to us & likely many others.

We have come a long way from when we were first told that our son needed a liver transplant to where we are now. We had a wait of about a year & a half from when Josiah was placed on the transplant list until he ultimately got his new liver. We even had a time, about a year before his transplant, where he was put “on deck” for a “perfect liver” for him but that was first being allocated to a very sick pediatric patient through U of M. They called us & told us to have Josiah go NPO (nothing passed orally) in case that other patient basically died on the table but the liver was still viable for Josiah’s case. I mean HECK NO!!! I couldn’t bear the thought of TWO People dying before J got “his” liver, so we activated A Lot of Prayer Teams & lifted that other child & their family to the Lord & thankfully they pulled through & were able to survive & hopefully thrive.

After Josiah had his transplant his recovery was relatively quite quick & he really began to thrive in so many ways. For the first Seven Years there were rarely even any minor setbacks in his Liver situation, which was a tremendous blessing! However in early Summer 2020 we ran into a pretty big hiccup. We’d had some insurance changes through my husband’s work & the new insurance forced us to get Josiah’s meds through different services than from the University of Michigan’s Transplant Pharmacy, where we’d Always gotten his transplant related meds without issue. Ultimately this was when strange medication shortages were starting to hit the US & Josiah’s main anti-rejection med, Prograf/Tacrolimus was one that was being shorted at the pharmacies we then were required to use. Ultimately this lead to us not having sufficient meds & Josiah going into Transplant Rejection. He became jaundiced & was hospitalized & we had (for the first time ever) some bad experiences at U of M. This was in the height of the “pandemic” scare, which contributed to many of the problems we encountered. Doctors told us after the fact that “we almost lost the liver” & thus we came pretty close to losing Josiah. Thankfully God was still at work & our son has made a nearly complete recovery. Unfortunately he still is taking more meds than he did prior to that rejection bout & it is unclear if his liver functioning will Ever return to the pre-rejection level…this too is in God’s hands.

So Josiah has gone through a number of death to life to near death to life transitions from even before he was born. The doctor who delivered the twins, in the pre-delivery evaluation of my, at that point very, high-risk pregnancy literally said “we’ve got to get the little guy out before he dies” & scheduled me for a pre-term delivery to ostensibly save Josiah’s life. That first heart surgery, the night before, we were all in the same room together for the first & potentially last time as a family & we got pictures of his unscarred chest, that would never be the same again. A heart surgery baby older & larger than Josiah, in the next bed over in the PCTU (Pediatric Cardio-Thoracic Unit, a specialty ICU) ended up dying sometime after they were discharged from the hospital & his mom called me to cry together over this unimaginable loss. There was one time at my parents’ Cottage, where we’ve had many special family trips, where Josiah woke up in the middle of the night gasping for breath & my husband drove us to the ER with me holding J in my arms & praying for him & for us thinking that he was going to die in my arms before we reached the hospital & trying to calm him & ease his transition to eternity…

“Through many dangers, toils, & snares we have already come. His grace has brought us safe thus far & His grace will lead us home!”

Honestly my husband & I just had a huge, intense conversation touching on the overwhelming aspects of raising Josiah & my own lack of outlets to “process” things & I’m now so spent, & so is he, that I’m probably going to have to wrap this post up pretty soon…

We are so thankful for Josiah’s life & so blessed to see the godly young man he has become. He continues to surprise & amaze us. He continues to mature & surrender his heart to the Lord. He continues to learn in small & large ways how to lay his life down for those he loves. Watching him grow into being a husband & a son-in-law is both a challenge & a joy. He & Rose have a relationship that is built on the Rock that is Christ Jesus. They have regular times of Prayer, Praise, Bible Study, & Christian Fellowship. Their love & marriage is a testimony to the grace & goodness of our Lord & Savior.

We don’t know what the future holds, but we know Who holds the future. Josiah’s life exemplifies many scriptural passages like “we have this treasure in earthen vessels” & “for me to live is Christ & to die is gain” & “whether we live or die we do all for the glory of God”! We rejoice in this milestone & the possibilities of what God will continue to do in & through Josiah’s life…

There are many places to learn more about Josiah & his very unique journey:

Four Years Ago Today, A Transplant Tale…

This post has Much detail up to & through his Liver Transplant

5 Years Going Strong–My Son’s Liver Transplant

A brief expression of the transplant journey, links, & wrestling w/ donor family loss

6th Anniversary of My Son’s Liver Transplant

A shorter version of the transplant journey & associated links

Seven Year Itch

Transplant & details on the transplant rejection hospitalization & much more

Unexpected Blessing

You can search within this blog for “transplant” & come up with further writings that aren’t linked in some of the above posts. There are also many posts on autism, special education, & special needs parenting among other eclectic topics.

If you might be facing a transplant situation, or just might find meaning in our particular journey there are several blogs that dive into details.

Archive of Liver Transplant Journey: https://jazzmanjournal.wordpress.com/about/

Josiah manages these sites:

JosiahsFreakShow.wordpress.com
JosiahTheSecretWeapon.wordpress.com

Archive of a friend’s transplant journey, managed by me: ChristLikeKara.wordpress.com

If you, or someone you know, is facing the complexities of transplant or other medical challenges you don’t have to walk that daunting path alone. There are others who have faced “similar” paths & they can be such an inspiration. I found reading about other people’s journeys, like Kara’s above, to be very edifying. I used to search the various blog platforms for other people going through these life-changing situations. Of course the Only way to Never be alone is to ask Jesus Christ to be your Lord & Savior. He promised to never leave nor forsake us! He promised that nothing can separate us from his love! He is the friend that sticks closer than a brother & the Lover of Our Souls. If you don’t yet know Him I hope that our testimonies of His faithfulness & provision through dark & dangerous times can be an encouragement for you to “seek Him while He may be found”.

God Bless You Most Richly!

Josiah’s Story about the 4th of July & Val’s Arbutus Beach & Cottage Reminiscences

Source: Josiah’s Story about the 4th of July

Hey, my son Josiah shared some of his insights about the 4th of July & celebrating near our family’s Cottage in Gaylord, Michigan.  There are some lively discussions going on in the Comments Section of his original post, so I wanted to link that post here on my page to find it more easily going forward.

There are some beautiful descriptions of Michigan there from people who have visited over the years!  It’s so great to find even visitors to Michigan have been blessed here!

All of what you see below got generated by looking for appropriate images…which led to reminiscing about life & times Up North…Whew, that was fun but also unexpected!

This is a picture of Otsego Lake, Gaylord, MI at sunset & that is the very dock used by the street where The Cottage is located & this dock is lovingly maintained by a kind year-round neighbor–image found via a Bing.com image search for “Otsego Lake, Michigan”!

 

Map of Otsego Lake, Michigan from a Bing.com image search

For the 4th of July, Gaylord usually conducts their Fireworks Show from the Otsego County Park shooting the fireworks off over the Lake.  We get a front row seat to this majestic & patriotic display from “our” beach.  Usually the lake fills with boats so that people watch the show from all angles and situations.  After the County show oftentimes there are many neighbors up & down the beach that put on pretty impressive personal displays, even before such elaborate explosives were available in-state.  Some of the regular out of state visitors also packed quite a bang-up version of personal 4th displays!

This is similar to our fireworks view, from a Bing.com image search for “Gaylord Michigan fireworks”

From this map of Otsego Lake, you can see that the Lake is roughly 5 miles long and about 1 mile wide at its widest, and many generations of the extended family have taken pride in swimming across the lake–including me!  The Cottage is located along the Northern most side of “The Pointe” that is prominent just North of Otsego Lake State Park.  If you would bisect that Pointe the Northern half would constitute Arbutus Beach, originally set up as a Public Beach (so the Lakefront property owners don’t technically own the Beach between their property & the water).  The Southern half of that Pointe, all the way to Old 27 Highway would be Pine Beach, where Uncle Hugh, Aunt Bernice, & their kids Tom & Karen had cottages.  Pine Beach was set up as Private Beach property so that the lake-front people own the Beach down to the water.  The other owners in Pine Beach only have water access at a couple of access points, somewhat like at the end of the roads.  We actually “slept under the stars” on our cousins’ beach a few times, but that was a more regular occurrence during my Dad’s & Aunt Pat’s Endless Summers of Fun!

This view is looking South, with The Pointe protruding into the water…from earlier times, like my Dad’s childhood; from a Bing.com image search for “otsego lake, gaylord michigan “

Now Arbutus Beach, because of various lawsuits & disputes has become “The Arbutus Beach Association”.  This makes the Beach rather “semi-private”, whereby in order for people from outside the Association to technically have access to the beach, they need to be guests of Association Members.  We lived at The Cottage during the time the whole lawsuit thing was just getting underway.  In fact, I was operating as an Avon Lady, with a territory that encompassed the entire Arbutus & Pine Beach area.  The Lawsuit was a frequent topic of conversation as I made may way through my Avon Territory and I heard many sad stories from residents.  In some cases friends who had known/interfaced with each other for generations were no longer speaking because they were on opposite sides of the (pointless) disputes.  To my knowledge, some of those historically congenial relationships were permanently destroyed through this lawsuit & subsequent legal maneuvering & fallout.  The only “winners” in all of that were the lawyers…

This is the sign as you enter Arbutus Beach off Old 27, from a Bing.com image search for “Arbutus Beach, Michigan”

Since my Dad & Aunt Pat, and their cousins Tom & Karen, spent their Summers at Otsego Lake, we get plenty of historical insights & nostalgia about the way things used to be up there.  They traveled around with a bunch of similarly aged kids some of whom lived Up North year round and some of whom, like all of them, were Summer Refugees from Detroit, including a gang of kids at the next most northern train stop, WaWaSoo.  They speak fondly of the days when there were fewer docks & boats on the lake, like two pictures above.  There also were many community events that happened around the lake, at least in the Summer time.  There are many ads in the Gaylord Herald Times Newspapers from like a hundred years ago that show the vibrant community life that seemed to revolve around Otsego Lake back in the day (see some links at the very end of this posting)…The below picture is an historical one of the Resort where historically many community events were held, I believe.  This is now a private residence with a huge dwelling erected on the former community-centric site.

from a Bing.com image search for “Arbutus Beach, Michigan”

 

My Great Grandparents’ Cottage & one of their rental cottages in the foreground; from a Bing.com image search for “Arbutus Beach, Michigan”

The above picture shows cottages that are on the street set back from the lake and near the top of the hill.  You can just see the lake in the distance in the middle left of this photo, beyond the car.  This appears to be one of the cottages my great grandparents Rowland Edward & Florabelle Mansell Thompson used to rent to others.  The white cottage in the center of the picture was the cottage my great grandparents moved to Arbutus Beach and was apparently the first cottage there.  The story goes that they bought the lumber company’s manager’s cottage/office? from the South West side of Otsego Lake.  It was pulled by horses over rolling logs across the frozen Lake one winter.

from a Bing.com image search for “horses pull house across frozen lake”

Though I couldn’t find a picture showing horses pulling a house across a frozen lake, the size of the logs in the above picture and to some degree the time frame may be representative of the process of moving my Great-Grandparents’ First Arbutus Beach Cottage across Otsego Lake.  Also, my Dad’s namesake & grandfather, William Ellsworth Stoddard, found his calling working in lumber, first in Northern Michigan and later managing his boss’ lumber yard in Detroit…WES also had a Gaylord cottage as did several of his children, my Grandpa Elzine Munger Stoddard’s siblings.

from a Bing.com image search for “horses pull building”

I guess if you add the above two pictures together, divide by two, and pull the building over ice it Might Approximate what allegedly happened with my Great-Grandparents’ First Cottage!  At some time I hope to peruse the historical newspapers from that location & era to see if there might be some mention of this momentous event.  It sounds like the kind of local color piece that would have been so interesting to read from that time period.  Alternatively I may try to see if the Gaylord/Otsego County Historical Society has some record of this event–and hopefully pictures to go with the account!  There’s another couple approximations of that event below…though my great-grandparents’ cottage was bigger (or did it only become bigger later???)…However this was accomplished, it was likely a pretty big deal and involved quite a few people & animals…I would have loved to have heard the tale from my Great Grand Father, as he was a notorious Tall Tale Teller!

from a Bing.com image search for “horses move building”

from a Bing.com image search for “horses move building winter”

 

After my Great-Grandparents, Rowland & Florabelle Thompson, died one of their Grandsons, Kenny Moore, who lived in Traverse City, owned their original cottage for many years.  He sold it to his mother’s brother, Thurman Thompson, who lived in California and would occasionally return to Michigan to visit his sisters Vivian Beatrice Thompson Stoddard (my grandmother) & Bernice Genevieve Thompson (Tom & Karen’s mother–she married Hugh Orr Thompson so basically retained her maiden name as a married woman).  After Uncle Thurman died one of his daughters, Mary Louise, inherited the cottage & she eventually moved to Michigan to live there year round.

from a Bing.com image search for “Fairview Cemetery, Gaylord, Michigan”

By the way  all the names mentioned in the above paragraph, excepting Kenny & Mary, are buried in Fairview Cemetery in Gaylord.  My parents recently bought lots in the vicinity of where my Dad’s first cousin Tom was so lately laid to rest.  Though I hope that it is still many, many years before we need to put that land to use, it is a comfort to know that Mom & Dad will be buried so near so many of the relations on my Dad’s side and so close to our beloved Cottage.  We visited Tom’s grave over Memorial Day and it was a beautiful weather day, though of course bitter sweet in our loss…It was also remarkable the high volume of Military Service represented in that Cemetery, for it appeared that close to half of those graves, going back at least to the Civil War, carried American Flags to honor their Service!

 

from a Bing.com image search for “Arbutus Beach, Michigan”

This above picture is the cottage that lies between our family Cottage and Otsego Lake–you can see the white “sleeping porch” of Our Cottage behind their side entrance roofing.  When I was a child I used to play with the kids who visited there.  When Michael & I lived at The Cottage in ’93 & ’94 our Pastor’s wife’s sister & brother-in-law lived there with their family.  Later it was bought by a Gaylord native who worked & lived downstate.  It recently changed hands and is now a rental cottage for the new owners.

The swing & platform in the above photo was erected by our neighbors across the street to accommodate the matriarch of that clan when she comes to visit from Florida.  When I was a kid my Grandma & I would sit on the immense log that marked the line between grass & beach to watch sunsets & chat, under where the swing & platform now reside.  Virtually every evening my Dad will sit on that swing, with his sister if she’s Up North, or my Mom, myself, or any of the many grand-kids who might be about to see if there will be yet another spectacular sunset display (& I’ve seen many people up & down Arbutus Beach do this too).

The white cottage on the left is owned by a lovely lady who also spent her growing up Summers at The Lake, like my Dad & Aunt did.  She comes up from Ohio and spends a lot of time Up North throughout the year in her retirement.  To the right of the swing (not in the picture) is a small brown cottage that was owned for many years, possibly generations, by one of the families who generated that dreaded & divisive lawsuit.  They were from California and the man’s brother also had a place further North within the Arbutus Beach community.  The little lake-front gem recently changed hands & is now owned by a couple who live further up the street year round, & maintain that dock in the very top photo above.  They turned that little cozy cottage into a rental place & my parents actually rented it one Summer when so many of our clan were Up North for the 4th for extra sleeping & hangout space–it was quite lovely!

from a Bing.com image search for “Arbutus Beach, Michigan”

It’s possible that the above picture is from the “Arbutus Beach Highlands”, a small residential community just East of Old 27, across from the Arbutus Beach & Pine Beach neighborhoods & entrance.  Several years ago, Josiah & I along with Brandon & Clarissa spent about 3 weeks at the Cottage in Gaylord.  We walked along the wooded trails of the Highlands, to pick some wild blackberries.  During one of our excursions we ran across some Elk foot/hoof prints.  We would regularly also see Deer prints, but not the animals. Another time, August 2013 to be specific, as Josiah was recuperating following his Liver Transplant in July, he & I had an extended Cottage visit.  On that trip I actually saw a small Red Fox along the Train Tracks where you turn into Arbutus Beach–the only time ever in 50+ years of personal excursions there!  There is so much Natural Beauty abounding in the area.  Sometimes it reminds me of my Grandma, who died in the 1970s, to see the various plants & animals, as we used to walk to the Pointe & some of the wooded pathways together & just talk….She used to be a Teacher, loved kids, and shared her love of God’s world directly with me!!!  These are such treasured memories…

from a Bing.com image search for “Gaylord, Michigan”

Above is an historical image of the Call of the Wild Museum.  This is a dated though fun family outing place, especially on bad weather days.  My husband often takes our kids there to buy yet another cool knife from their well stocked Gift Shop.  There are many trophy animals on display there including quite a few specimens taken by the legendary hunter, Fred Bear.  He was a dear friend & mentor to hunter, rocker, conservative commentator, and “Motor City Mad Man” Ted Nugent.  I believe Ted has connections to Northern Michigan, but I think more so to the Grayling area, about 1/2 hour South of Gaylord, where he obtained a lot of Fred Bear’s property following Fred’s passing.  I also believe that Fred Bear was a very gifted Archer and even has a particular bow named after him.  In our family my husband brought the Bow Hunting tradition to Michigan when we moved Up North as Newly-Weds.  He used to get various bow-hunting magazines then & I believe Michigan had more bow hunters than any other state!

from a Bing.com image search for “Gaylord, Michigan”

Gaylord is practically perfectly situated for Four Seasons Living, equidistant between the Equator & the North Pole.  It is known to have the highest snowfall in the Lower Peninsula of Michigan.  The last Winter we lived there, 1996-1997,  I believe it had roughly 220 inches of snow!  Even so, they did a great job of maintaining the road conditions so driving wasn’t too hazardous, relatively–except, of course, during white outs!  There is some picture in the family vault showing The Cottage with snow up to the eaves of the roof, similar to the image below!

from a Bing.com image search for “Gaylord, Michigan winter”

 

Well I’ll leave this meandering trip down Memory Lane with another stunning Otsego Lake Sunset!  In case you can’t tell, I Love The Cottage, Arbutus Beach, and Gaylord, Michigan & am so thankful that my husband Michael & I began our family there!!!  In fact we may have the only Gaylord born relation within the extended clan, in our firstborn, Nathaniel, who was born in Gaylord, and marked on The Wall at just one day old. We gifted him the nickname of Jackpine Savage because of that Northern Michigan birth!  The Wall would be the Door Jambs at The Cottage between the Dining Room & Living Room.  The Inner-Facing Jamb on the Lake side has my Dad’s Generation & spouses.  The Inner-Facing Jamb on the Garage side has My Generation & spouses.  The Dining Room Facing Jamb on the Lake side has My Kid’s Generation.  Finally, the Dining Room Facing Jamb on the Garage side has my first cousin’s grand-kids–as in my generation’s grand-kids & my dad’s great grand-kids, whenever our side adds to that generation.  No one has been marked on that wall immediately after birth except for Nathaniel…& speaking of marking, the Fourth of July is the traditional time to check everyone’s height (including against existing & ancestral markings)…& this year we get to add in our latest family member, Nathaniel’s New Bride, Tara!

All our years are written with love in the very fibers of The Cottage!

from a Bing.com image search for “Arbutus Beach, Michigan”

PS If you’d like to see a Newspaper article from back when Michael & I and the Boys lived in Gaylord check it out here, on pages 1, 4, & 5:

http://207.74.70.101:8080/docushare/dsweb/Get/Document-6631/1996-11-07%20Thu%20Building%20Familes.pdf

Page 2 of the below newspaper tells of some of the history of Arbutus Beach and speaks so highly of Otsego Lake as a natural beauty filled resort vacation destination–in 1923!

http://207.74.70.101:8080/docushare/dsweb/Get/Document-8848/1923-07-26%20Thu.pdf

The below link goes to the searchable Newspaper Archive for the Otsego County Library!

http://207.74.70.101:8080/docushare/dsweb/HomePage