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10 to 1, a Double Anniversary!

So Today is the Tenth Anniversary of our son Josiah’s Liver Transplant, & he has come such a long, long way! We are so thankful that God has seen fit to preserve his life & extend it & enrich it in so many ways. Today is also his First Anniversary of his marriage to his lovely wife Rose. Having Josiah be married to a Godly young lady is an incredible & unexpected blessing. God is so good!!!

I’ve written a number of times on the transplant anniversary & many times in relation to things connected to Josiah’s life & how the special needs situations challenged us in a number of arenas. In fact it’s likely that this blog wouldn’t even exist without the special needs dynamic being particularly difficult for me to personally manage so that I ultimately chose to use blogging, to varying degrees, as an outlet to offload thoughts, feelings, & details that needed a place of expression, even if I might be the only person who would ever read any of it!

So I want to reiterate points I’ve likely made elsewhere when reflecting back on Josiah’s life & just how far God has brought him along on his own journey. When he was very young, no older than 2, when we still lived in Northern Michigan, he was described by an in-home staff person as someone who would likely “never walk nor talk & never read nor write”. Hearing such things spoken over your child is truly a heartbreaking scenario. Thankfully this staff person turned out to be entirely wrong!!! Although J experienced (& continues to wrestle with) many developmental challenges he has far exceeded so many expectations for his life that you can really think of his maturation & success in so many arenas as truly miraculous!

We never thought he’d be able to learn to ride a regular bike, due to many balance & coordination issues, but he finally was able to remove those training wheels when he was so big that his weight was beginning to cause the training wheel supports to bend. He used to get Physical Therapy in a number of places, including at school. The last time the school PT evaluated him he was Raving about how far Josiah had come. He’d never had another student who’d achieved the milestones that Josiah had when having started from a place of such significant challenges. What a tremendous testimonial!

Educators in the special education domain never thought he would be as successful academically as he ended up being. We had Many Battles in the effort to get Josiah’s needs met, as prescribed by special ed law, & were only marginally successful, at best. But God…Josiah has been gifted with a fighting spirit & a determination to never quit & it has kept him going when obstacles would seem insurmountable with our human eyes. Near the end of his high school career when he was on-track to “graduate” (they did not really follow the law nor his IEPs to give him an “appropriate education”…massive sigh) the then Special Ed Administrator for our school district said of Josiah “never was I so glad to have been proven so wrong” in that he thought J wouldn’t graduate & would only achieve a “certificate of completion” & then go on to continuing special ed at a center-based program until aging out at 26 (which was Josiah’s wife’s trajectory).

Many of us thought that Josiah would never hold down a job & that he’d need assistance from “the system” in order to even have a shot at it. Well, after major battle fatigue from duking it out with special ed we all had a very bad taste in our mouths from working with “supportive” systems in our state. Ultimately Josiah found his own job, working PT for our city as a janitor in the city’s community center. He did get support in his job search from his long-term Respite Care Worker but he did not go through the state-level job support systems that he so wanted to avoid. Josiah’s boss attended his wedding & could not stop raving about how much he appreciates Josiah & the caliber of work he does as a janitor.

Josiah has experienced Many Medical Challenges over the years. The biggest hurdle was probably his Liver Transplant that happened 10 years ago today. Before facing that he was born prematurely & started life at only 2# 6oz, while his twin Brandon, who was normal size for their gestational age of 33 1/2 weeks was 5# 4oz. Josiah was hospitalized for 2 1/2 months in the NICU & didn’t come home until after Open Heart Surgery at 2 months old & just 4 pounds. He was hospitalized Twice in his first year of life with RSV & had an additional surgery repairing bilateral inguinal hernias that followed fairly quickly after his First Heart Surgery. He ended up getting myringotomy tubes in his ears before age 2 & had multiple surgeries to repeat this procedure. He had 4 stages of repair for birth defects & a second heart surgery when he was 4 1/2. He had a brain tumor removed (through the nose so no visible scarring!) & surgery on both eyes to unfortunately only partially correct a type of double vision. All of those surgeries, except for 2 of them, were before the Liver Transplant. He’s had 18 or 19 surgeries overall (I’ve, sadly, lost count)…thus far.

The road to the transplant was especially bumpy for me because Josiah required a whole liver, so it meant that in order for him to be transplanted someone else would have to die & their organs be given to others to preserve &/or improve many lives. I really couldn’t get past that part, the loss of someone else’s life for our son’s improved life. I would have much preferred to donate a lobe of my own liver to preserve my son than to see someone else lose their child so ours could go on, better than before. That heartache has never really gone away for me & I am so thankful that another family made the heart-wrenching decision to allow their own child to live on, in a manner of speaking, in the lives of all who would benefit from the sacrificial gift of organ & tissue donation. They truly did give the Gift of Life to us & likely many others.

We have come a long way from when we were first told that our son needed a liver transplant to where we are now. We had a wait of about a year & a half from when Josiah was placed on the transplant list until he ultimately got his new liver. We even had a time, about a year before his transplant, where he was put “on deck” for a “perfect liver” for him but that was first being allocated to a very sick pediatric patient through U of M. They called us & told us to have Josiah go NPO (nothing passed orally) in case that other patient basically died on the table but the liver was still viable for Josiah’s case. I mean HECK NO!!! I couldn’t bear the thought of TWO People dying before J got “his” liver, so we activated A Lot of Prayer Teams & lifted that other child & their family to the Lord & thankfully they pulled through & were able to survive & hopefully thrive.

After Josiah had his transplant his recovery was relatively quite quick & he really began to thrive in so many ways. For the first Seven Years there were rarely even any minor setbacks in his Liver situation, which was a tremendous blessing! However in early Summer 2020 we ran into a pretty big hiccup. We’d had some insurance changes through my husband’s work & the new insurance forced us to get Josiah’s meds through different services than from the University of Michigan’s Transplant Pharmacy, where we’d Always gotten his transplant related meds without issue. Ultimately this was when strange medication shortages were starting to hit the US & Josiah’s main anti-rejection med, Prograf/Tacrolimus was one that was being shorted at the pharmacies we then were required to use. Ultimately this lead to us not having sufficient meds & Josiah going into Transplant Rejection. He became jaundiced & was hospitalized & we had (for the first time ever) some bad experiences at U of M. This was in the height of the “pandemic” scare, which contributed to many of the problems we encountered. Doctors told us after the fact that “we almost lost the liver” & thus we came pretty close to losing Josiah. Thankfully God was still at work & our son has made a nearly complete recovery. Unfortunately he still is taking more meds than he did prior to that rejection bout & it is unclear if his liver functioning will Ever return to the pre-rejection level…this too is in God’s hands.

So Josiah has gone through a number of death to life to near death to life transitions from even before he was born. The doctor who delivered the twins, in the pre-delivery evaluation of my, at that point very, high-risk pregnancy literally said “we’ve got to get the little guy out before he dies” & scheduled me for a pre-term delivery to ostensibly save Josiah’s life. That first heart surgery, the night before, we were all in the same room together for the first & potentially last time as a family & we got pictures of his unscarred chest, that would never be the same again. A heart surgery baby older & larger than Josiah, in the next bed over in the PCTU (Pediatric Cardio-Thoracic Unit, a specialty ICU) ended up dying sometime after they were discharged from the hospital & his mom called me to cry together over this unimaginable loss. There was one time at my parents’ Cottage, where we’ve had many special family trips, where Josiah woke up in the middle of the night gasping for breath & my husband drove us to the ER with me holding J in my arms & praying for him & for us thinking that he was going to die in my arms before we reached the hospital & trying to calm him & ease his transition to eternity…

“Through many dangers, toils, & snares we have already come. His grace has brought us safe thus far & His grace will lead us home!”

Honestly my husband & I just had a huge, intense conversation touching on the overwhelming aspects of raising Josiah & my own lack of outlets to “process” things & I’m now so spent, & so is he, that I’m probably going to have to wrap this post up pretty soon…

We are so thankful for Josiah’s life & so blessed to see the godly young man he has become. He continues to surprise & amaze us. He continues to mature & surrender his heart to the Lord. He continues to learn in small & large ways how to lay his life down for those he loves. Watching him grow into being a husband & a son-in-law is both a challenge & a joy. He & Rose have a relationship that is built on the Rock that is Christ Jesus. They have regular times of Prayer, Praise, Bible Study, & Christian Fellowship. Their love & marriage is a testimony to the grace & goodness of our Lord & Savior.

We don’t know what the future holds, but we know Who holds the future. Josiah’s life exemplifies many scriptural passages like “we have this treasure in earthen vessels” & “for me to live is Christ & to die is gain” & “whether we live or die we do all for the glory of God”! We rejoice in this milestone & the possibilities of what God will continue to do in & through Josiah’s life…

There are many places to learn more about Josiah & his very unique journey:

This post has Much detail up to & through his Liver Transplant
A brief expression of the transplant journey, links, & wrestling w/ donor family loss
A shorter version of the transplant journey & associated links
Transplant & details on the transplant rejection hospitalization & much more

Unexpected Blessing

You can search within this blog for “transplant” & come up with further writings that aren’t linked in some of the above posts. There are also many posts on autism, special education, & special needs parenting among other eclectic topics.

If you might be facing a transplant situation, or just might find meaning in our particular journey there are several blogs that dive into details.

Archive of Liver Transplant Journey: https://jazzmanjournal.wordpress.com/about/

Josiah manages these sites:

JosiahsFreakShow.wordpress.com
JosiahTheSecretWeapon.wordpress.com

Archive of a friend’s transplant journey, managed by me: ChristLikeKara.wordpress.com

If you, or someone you know, is facing the complexities of transplant or other medical challenges you don’t have to walk that daunting path alone. There are others who have faced “similar” paths & they can be such an inspiration. I found reading about other people’s journeys, like Kara’s above, to be very edifying. I used to search the various blog platforms for other people going through these life-changing situations. Of course the Only way to Never be alone is to ask Jesus Christ to be your Lord & Savior. He promised to never leave nor forsake us! He promised that nothing can separate us from his love! He is the friend that sticks closer than a brother & the Lover of Our Souls. If you don’t yet know Him I hope that our testimonies of His faithfulness & provision through dark & dangerous times can be an encouragement for you to “seek Him while He may be found”.

God Bless You Most Richly!

Autism Connections

Well it’s been a while since I’ve done a post here on my main blog so let’s just dive in. I met another mother of an autistic adult child the other day & offered to share a link to one of my blog posts that still gets attention all these years later:

A relatively popular blog post that people still find via search engines.

Well in the course of emailing her that link I decided to see if I could find the original source blog & perhaps some other potentially interesting material either she or her daughter might enjoy. Here’s an excerpt from that email with some of those links:

Here is the original post that my above writing was in reference to, in the archive:

https://web.archive.org/web/20170719234622/https://anonymouslyautistic.net/2016/08/31/autism-its-different-in-girls/

& here is an archive of her main blog: 

https://web.archive.org/web/20170709115258/https://anonymouslyautistic.net/

I’ll do a quick WordPress search to see if there are other young ladies on the autism spectrum who have sites that Might be of interest to you &/or your daughter.  By the way, Word Press offers free blogging & website services, as well as paid levels with greater functionality, so it could offer a “community” where you &/or your daughter may find like minded people with shared interests…

Ok searching just within WP there is Way Too Much to share in a casual email.  Here is a link that has multiple blogs authored by the actually autistic:

Well I was searching within Word Press & found a huge amount of material that I hope to dive into, but in case I don’t, here, at least in an accessible manner, is what looked interesting to me, without digging in to any of these posts or sites & evaluating them. I’m sharing them here Purely FYI…

These are going to be in no particular order, as I’m frantically writing this post at the library & have just over an hour before I get kicked off their system. There are posts &/or sites that are About autism, that are Written By the autistic spectrum individual, or are written by a family member, some informational or research focused, & also some creative &/or artistic material that touches on autism.

Hopefully we might find something of meaning to support our individual journeys of life!

http://other-autism.com/

Looks like I should check this next one out & possibly share a link to my original post in comments there:

The intimate link between ADHD and autism

https://lifewithautismorg.wordpress.com/

https://gradypbrown.wordpress.com/

http://thinkingautismguide.com/

http://autism124.com/

http://justfrankautism.uk/

THE AUTISM WALL AND COMMUNITY

https://gettingrealwithautism.wordpress.com/

Home

https://davisbrotherlylove.com/

https://neurodivergentrebel.com/

https://dadofautism.wordpress.com/

http://emma-lucy-thomson.net/

https://autisticconsciousness.wordpress.com/

https://ladyautismblog.wordpress.com/

http://rachelautism.com/

https://navigatingautism.wordpress.com/

http://hollymollyartistic.com/

http://aspi.blog/

https://autisticinnerspace.wordpress.com/

https://onceuponalifeofautism.wordpress.com/

https://jtwiggar.wordpress.com/

https://autismchurchministry.com/

My Autistic Journal

Here’s one of the recent posts from the above blog, which will hopefully show:

I’m Invited to the Table of the Lord: The Lord’s Table & Hospitality

http://hesaidwhatks.blog/

http://undercoverautism.org/

https://tallyaspiedad.wordpress.com/

https://pensiveaspie.wordpress.com/

https://autismthoughts.wordpress.com/

http://myonebeautifulthing.com/

Whoa, when I saw this next one my heart skipped a beat for I have the same theme for my archived site of a medically themed blog regarding my autistic son’s liver transplant journey, from my perspective: JazzmanJournal.wordpress.com

Adult Autism Awareness

Autism: The Real Truth

I’m going to go out on a limb & say, without reading the above (yet) that autism is most likely rare among the Amish because they do not vaccinate their children. Vaccines are apparently a Major Cause/Factor in developing autism. Robert F. Kennedy, Jr, has been doing significant work in exposing these dangers with an (his?) organization called Children’s Health Defense, I believe.

Here’s another one where I might need to drop a link to my Autism, ADHD, & girls post:

The doctor’s question about my son’s autism that changed everything

Home

Well that’s the end of my super eclectic collection of autism posts &/or sites of interest to me found today within Word Press. Frankly I wish that I had time to read & process ALL of them but we’ll see. If it turns out that I really end up digging in enough to comment elsewhere I’ll probably copy such writings back into my blog, possibly in comments to this post, in a new post, or even interspersed above within this post.

Blessings & Best Regards to all who stop by who are, who might be, who love, who ponder, who pray, who research, who play, who wrestle, who rest, who reflect, who create, who inspire, who thrive, who trailblaze, who amaze, who gaze, from within, without, beside, behind, beyond, above, & below Autism & The Spectrum. May God guide, heal, direct, instruct, indwell, protect, shelter, sustain, & love us all!

In Jesus’ Love

Commenting on Mental Illness

Stella has written a thoughtful & insightful post about a pervasive crisis within society here:

This is not progress – mental illness today in the USA

 

I wanted to share my comment on her post on my blog with my readers, so here it is:

First of all, sorry for the long post, I guess I got on a bit of a roll. So I’m leaving the below “as is” & hope that I haven’t crossed any lines or offended anyone. Most of this comment is based on first or second hand experience, for what it’s worth…

Years ago a psychologist did an assessment on me & said I was “severely depressed”. Some time later, at a doctor’s visit, I mentioned to the physician that I May be “severely depressed”, assuming the assessment was accurate. He offered immediately to prescribe anti-depressants for me. I declined & he actually said “good”. I told him my “depression” (assuming it’s “real”) was likely due in large part to having a severely disabled son, being overwhelmed with the care of four young children, financial stressors, & a lack of relational support systems. I said that I needed to learn how to live within the confines of the life God has given me & didn’t want some type of drug to mask the pain (treat just the symptom). Learning to live with grace in a less-than-perfect-reality (the only kind there is) is basically the essence of the human condition.

By the way, we’ve used psych meds on almost all of my ADHD family members at one time or another. There have been some benefits from the Ritalin style meds several of them used to take. However, 3 of the 4 family members with ADHD prefer Not to use meds to mediate their symptoms. All are gainfully employed & were reasonably successful students (though each hated school to some degree historically), though this condition still impacts their communication & relationships to varying degrees.

My much more complex son was/is a more difficult case. We were pressured to put him on “Ritalin” by the school system (ilegally)–while he was still in Special Ed Pre-School. I was extremely reluctant “to drug my kid up to get some peace of mind”. Several years after the initial pressure based on psych testing & input from a physician familiar with complex special needs kids, we put him on a trial of ADHD medicine–Welbutrin. That worked for him for about a year but he began to develop strange facial tics so we switched him to Strattera. He was on that for several years & it helped his attention, but after Welbutrin was removed (an anti-depressant) his behavioral/emotional control was markedly diminished (probably more of what he was like w/out psych meds but a Huge contrast to the relative “calm” on Welbutrin). Anyway that lead to the doc prescribing Paxil for his Autism cocktail of “depression, anxiety, & obsessive compulsive disorder”.

He functioned relatively well on Strattera & Paxil for years. However Neuropsychological Testing revealed significant attentional/processing issues that might be better addressed with an additional med, Metadate (a form of Ritalin). When the combo of S, P, & M was used for him he had some significant academic gains. He worked more slowly (took his time & thought things through a bit?) but his accuracy improved practically exponentially.

This was my son who needed a Liver Transplant, and as that surgery approached, we began to discuss his entire medication regimen from the standpoint of what would be best from his liver needs as well as what could appropriately address his other medical conditions with needed meds. Ultimately it was decided that Strattera would have to go as it was notoriously hard on the liver. Ironically once that med was removed he began having some of those facial tics again, though not as severely nor as noticeably as when he was younger.

I’d been “short dosing” his Paxil for years. He’d been prescribed 5mls & we’d usually use about 3mls. When he got used to the 3mls (& the doc adjusted her script to how much we were actually using, which was much less than the “therapeutic dose”) we continued to lower his typical dose to about 1.2mls. Even with that very small dose our whole family Really Noticed his behavioral issues when he’d forgotten to take Paxil.

Eventually after the Liver Transplant my son basically self-weaned off of Paxil all together. He still struggles with his emotional control & his anxiety & OCD issues have come a bit more to the forefront without Paxil. However, even when he’s in a place of diminished emotional control he still typically chooses not to “use” Paxil as an emotional crutch. We have supported him in his choices (he’s 22 & “his own guardian” who still needs much guidance & support) but remind him that that medication is available as a tool to assist him in managing his emotional needs, if he so chooses.

Also, since taking him off Strattera his communication has gone Way Up…Since the Liver Transplant it’s almost like he’s become a different person, much more interactive, more hyper verbally, sharing thoughts & feelings more freely, etc. This is likely due to more than just the med change but does make me wonder if the Strattera was rather slowing him down, not the way Metadate did to help him do more accurate work, but like putting him more in a stupor or a fog, for years. Given the complexities of his birth liver function & the buildup of toxins system-wide prior to transplant there’s really no way to know. I just wanted to mention it because the changes we observe(d) were likely due to multiple factors….

We are a Christian family, & this son, even more than all the rest of us “normal” family members, has an extremely vibrant relationship with the Lord. When he is facing intense emotional turmoil we encourage him to spend focused time with the Lord, reading Scripture, praying, & worshiping. This he does quite frequently. I remind him that one of the Fruits of the Spirit (according to Scripture) is Self-Control. Even though he is “wired” in his natural state to have less self-control, given the nature of most of his medical conditions, the Power of God is greater than his diagnoses & the Lord can help him come to a place of managing his emotional/behavioral challenges.

When he’s in an overblown state he’s often irrational in the heat of the moment, perhaps for a couple of minutes. However, we encourage him to step back (take a time out), use breathing techniques (& other skills gained via years of therapy, trial & error, or “professional input” from me–I’m a non-practicing Licensed Professional Counselor), engage the Lord directly, let us pray for/with him, etc. Anyway, usually these things work pretty quickly for him though due to “perseveration” (where he gets stuck in a mental or emotional groove) he may need A Lot of Processing Time, retreading the same ground over memories, hurts, confusion, & communication techniques & challenges…

This is all a Very Long Haul Process…

Years back I wondered if he would grab a weapon & do me bodily harm. As a grade schooler up through the junior high years he used to ball his fist & raise it over his head & his whole body/soul would shake as he wrestled with his extreme desire to punch me in the face. He never did such a punch. However he used to shove, hit, & claw at all family members but his dad (unless he was in an Extreme out of control rage) & appeared to deliberately enjoy inflicting physical &/or emotional harm when he was past the point of caring. He has come An Extremely Long Way since those more difficult days. He still seems to enjoy pushing other people’s buttons, just a little bit, & also throwing others under the bus…but then again, who doesn’t???! He still has his struggles & sometimes still “acts out” verbally or physically, but he de-escalates quickly & is usually truly sorry & repentant pretty quickly. I’d love to see the seas calmed before the storm hits, when the clouds are dark & heavy the the swells on the increase but apparently Jesus still sleeps in the boat well of my son’s soul until the storm has hit & his overwhelmed follower rouses Him so that even “the wind & the waves obey Him”…

Anyway, the bottom line is that I believe that mental/emotional illness is real & it is not automatically evidence of “demonic” oppression as many Believers have suggested over the generations. As a Christian I believe that God is the Creator of All Things, including mankind. As such it’s important to read the manual (Bible) in order to find out the best way for the human creation to function. Our personal experiences of living with complex mental/emotional “illnesses” have shown that the Power of God is able heal our wounded hearts & minds. He can enable us to “rise above” our “nature” & submit ourselves to His Lordship. Medication, Therapy, Supportive Relationships, Practice, & Consistent Reinforcement can all play a BIG ROLE in how well one might “overcome” or learn reasonably successful coping strategies to wrestle our own personal “demons”.

However, society at large, especially one steeped in secularism, political correctness, & lefty thinking is wholly inadequate to address the real and abiding needs of the mentally ill, chemically dependent, & certain types of severe disabilities. As such a modern rendition of some type of institutional system (NOT Prison) should be investigated, implemented, & evaluated and this is a need of crisis proportions. As this is a social problem it needs attention from society. Balancing the needs of the client/patient with those of society at large will possibly take a degree of wisdom not seen since Solomon. Having Federal Support/Oversight with Local Control seems like the most reasonable approach. Using faith-based systems in place might be a good starting place.

There probably will never be any type of complete solution to this problem. It seems akin to what Jesus said “the poor you will have with you always”…but it must also be tempered with another of the Lord’s sayings: “whatever you have done to the least of these, you have done unto Me!”. The final guidance should be “do unto others as you would have others do unto you” (or your parent/spouse/child/friend/co-worker)…

Just my 2 cents…for free!

May God Guide & Direct Us as we seek to address these glaring needs…