First off, let me apologize that this post got rather out of hand copying definitions from two different sources…So when you see huge lists of words feel free to scroll quickly by, they are bracketed by golden line dividers. I’ll try to enhance my own words a bit so they’ll stand out from the pack…& God’s words most of all! Of note in these lists of words is that there are Many synonyms for the damaging words & so few, if even any, antonyms–basically, at least in this domain, our very language is heavily weighted toward darkness rather than light. This mental/emotional/spiritual revision will thus take focused effort…
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For many years I’ve carried a list of brutality as a shorthand description of certain traumas in my past. It is long past time to find a new script to overlay these lies with eternal Truth. Here’s my pervasive list:
- Rejected
- Despised
- Abandoned
- Betrayed
- Deceived
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It’s not that each of these words is technically a “lie” from my past. In fact each word represents multiple painful & deeply scarring experiences such that no matter how many positive events have overshadowed them over the years I’ve never yet been able to uproot them from my deepest psyche. Well, taking a clue and a cure from scripture,
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it’s time for that re-write…
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1 Corinthians 6: 9-11 New International Version (NIV)
9 Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men[a] 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
Footnote:
a. 1 Corinthians 6:9 The words men who have sex with men translate two Greek words that refer to the passive and active participants in homosexual acts.
New International Version (NIV)
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
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1 Corinthians 6: 9-11 King James Version (KJV)
9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
11 And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.
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I used to use this particular passage to encourage some friends of mine who struggled with homosexuality. If scripture could refer to people who Had been caught in some of the “biggie” sins (from our human perspective) & yet say “and such were some of you” meaning that those things were in the past because of being washed, sanctified, & justified in Jesus’ Name & by God’s Spirit, how much more can God’s Truth overlay the lies of a lifetime? God & Truth have no bounds, no limits, & no restraints!
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So let’s see what kind of healthy antonyms for that trauma list might be found & then hopefully find some relevant scriptures to reinforce those concepts as
His Word is Truth & Light!
Looking up “rejected” in an online thesaurus I find that jilted, spurned, & unloved are listed as synonyms or related words. Ironically they don’t list antonyms…Here’s more from a more comprehensive site:
Definition of ‘reject’
reject
Word forms: plural, 3rd person singular present tense rejects, present participle rejecting , past tense, past participle rejected PRONUNCIATION NOTE: The verb is pronounced (rɪdʒekt ). The noun is pronounced (riːdʒekt ).
1. verb
2. verb
3. verb
[Also VERB noun]
4. verb
5. verb
6. verb
7. countable noun
reject in British
verb (rɪˈdʒɛkt ) (transitive)
1. to refuse to accept, acknowledge, use, believe, etc
3. to rebuff (a person)
noun (ˈriːdʒɛkt )
5. something rejected as imperfect, unsatisfactory, or useless
rejectable (reˈjectable)
rejecter (reˈjecter) or rejector (reˈjector)
rejection (reˈjection)
rejective (reˈjective)
C15: from Latin rēicere to throw back, from re- + jacere to hurl
reject in American
(rɪˈdʒɛkt ; for n. ˈridʒɛkt )
verb transitive
1. to refuse to take, agree to, accede to, use, believe, etc.
2. to discard or throw out as worthless, useless, or substandard; cast off or out
4. to throw up (food); vomit
5. to rebuff; esp., to deny acceptance, care, love, etc. to (someone) a rejected child
6. Physiology to fail to accept immunologically (a part or organ grafted or transplanted into the body)
noun
7. a rejected thing or person
rejectee (rɪˌdʒɛkˈti )
rejecter (reˈjecter)
rejection (reˈjection)
rejective (reˈjective)
LME rejecten < L rejectus, pp. of reicere, rejicere, to throw or fling back < re-,back + jacere, to throw: see jet1
Synonyms for reject
verb rebuff
verb deny
verb discard
Synonyms for reject
verb to be unwilling to accept, consider, or receive
Synonyms for reject
noun the person or thing that is rejected or set aside as inferior in quality
Synonyms
Related Words
verb refuse to accept or acknowledge
Related Words
Antonyms
verb refuse to accept
verb deem wrong or inappropriate
Synonyms
Related Words
verb reject with contempt
verb resist immunologically the introduction of some foreign tissue or organ
verb refuse entrance or membership
verb dismiss from consideration or a contest
Synonyms
The above three expanded definitions were from:
https://www.freethesaurus.com/reject
Synonyms of ‘reject‘
Additional synonyms
Synonyms of ‘reject‘
Additional synonyms
Synonyms of ‘reject‘
Additional synonyms
Synonyms of ‘reject‘
Additional synonyms
- excluded
- worthless
- forsaken
- failure
- disregarded
- scorned
- dishonored
- disapproved
- ostracized
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Here are a few more supportive scriptures:
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- Accepted
- Adored
- Loved
- Allowed
- Agreed
- Approved
- Permitted
- Received
- Selected
- Prized
- Treasured
- Allowed In
- Intromitted (to cause or permit to enter)
- Let In
- Admitted
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Let’s see what we can find for Despised, first a definition:
Definition of ‘despise’
despise
(dɪspaɪz )
Word forms: 3rd person singular present tense despises , present participle despising , past tense, past participle despised
verb
despise in British
(dɪˈspaɪz )
despiser (deˈspiser)
C13: from Old French despire, from Latin dēspicere to look down, from de- + specere to look
despise in American
(dɪˈspaɪz)
verb transitive Word forms: deˈspised or deˈspising
1. to look down on with contempt and scorn
2. to regard with dislike or repugnance
SYNONYMY NOTE:despise implies a strong emotional response toward that which one looks down upon with contempt or aversion [to despise a hypocrite]; to scorn is to feel indignation toward or deep contempt for [to scorn the offer of a bribe]; disdain implies a haughty or arrogant contempt for what one considers beneath one’s dignity [to disdain flattery]; contemn, chiefly a literary word, implies a vehement disapproval of a person or thing as base, vile, or despicable
ME despisen < OFr despis-, stem of despirer < L despicere, to look down upon, despise < de, down, from + specere, to look at: see spectacle
Synonyms for despise
Synonyms for despise
Synonyms for despise
Synonyms for despised
The above four expanded definitions were from:
https://www.freethesaurus.com/despised
Detested
Hated
Scorned
Unloved
Synonyms of ‘despise‘
How I despised myself for my cowardice.
Additional synonyms
He was a man who abhorred violence.
This theory is widely derided by conventional scientists.
Synonyms of ‘despise‘
Additional synonyms
My mother detested my ex-husband.
a political leader who disdained the compromises of politics
The two men loathe each other.
people who scorned traditional methods People scorn me as a single parent.
a spurned lover
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Here are some synonyms of Despised that leaped out & some scriptural antidotes for the poison:
- contempt
- detest
- hate
- disgust
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Here are more biblical encouragements:
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Some opposites of Despise, hopefully more of the antidote, with further scriptural underpinning:
Now we’ll turn to Abandoned to see what surfaces, first a definition:
Definition of ‘abandon’
abandon
(əbændən)
Word forms: 3rd person singular present tense abandons, present participle abandoning, past tense, past participle abandoned
1. verb
2. verb
3. verb
4. verb
5. uncountable noun [usu with N]
[disapproval]
7. abandon ship
abandon in British
(əˈbændən)
noun
8. freedom from inhibitions, restraint, concern, or worry
abandonment (aˈbandonment)
C14: abandounen (vb), from Old French, from a bandon under one’s control, in one’s power, from a at, to + bandon control, power
abandon in American
(əˈbændən)
verb transitive
1. to give up (something) completely or forever
noun
4. unrestrained freedom of action or emotion; surrender to one’s impulses
SYNONYMY NOTE:abandon implies leaving a person or thing, either as a final, necessary measure [to abandon a drought area] or as a complete rejection of one’s responsibilities, claims, etc. [she abandoned her child]; desert 1 emphasizes leaving in willful violation, as of one’s obligation or oath [the soldier deserted his post]; forsake stresses renouncing a person or thing formerly dear to one [to forsake one’s friends or ideals]; quit, basically implying to leave or give up, is now commonly used to mean stop [she quit her job]
abandonment (aˈbandonment)
ME abandonen < OFr abandoner < mettre a bandon, to put under (someone else’s) ban, relinquish: see ban1
abandon in Insurance
(əbændən)
Word forms: (present) abandons, (past) abandoned, (perfect) abandoned, (progressive) abandoning
verb
(Insurance: Claims)
- Leave
- Stop
- Give Up
- Evacuate
- Recklessness
Synonyms for abandon
verb leave
Synonyms
- leave
- strand
- ditch
- leave behind
- walk out on
- forsake
- jilt
- run out on
- throw over
- turn your back on
- desert
- dump
- leave high and dry
- leave in the lurch
verb stop
verb give up
verb evacuate
noun recklessness
Synonyms
- recklessness
- dash
- wildness
- wantonness
- unrestraint
- careless freedom
Antonyms
phrase abandon yourself to something
Synonyms
- indulge in
- give way to
- yield to
- wallow in
- give free rein to
- lose yourself in
- give yourself up to
Synonyms for abandon
verb to give up or leave without intending to return or claim again
Synonyms
verb to give up a possession, claim, or right
verb to cease trying to accomplish or continue
verb to yield (oneself) unrestrainedly, as to a particular impulse
noun a complete surrender of inhibitions
Synonyms
noun a careless, often reckless disregard for consequences
Synonyms
Synonyms for abandon
noun the trait of lacking restraint or control
Synonyms
Related Words
noun a feeling of extreme emotional intensity
Synonyms
Related Words
verb forsake, leave behind
verb give up with the intent of never claiming again
Synonyms
Related Words
verb stop maintaining or insisting on
Synonyms of ‘abandon‘
She claimed that her friends had abandoned her.
phrase
See abandon ship
phrasal verb
Additional synonyms
A small number of firms have ceased trading.
The General had promised to cede power by January.
Synonyms of ‘abandon‘
Additional synonyms
He deserted our team years ago.
Do not discontinue the treatment without consulting your doctor.
I can’t bring myself to ditch him.
I was told to drop the idea.
She was dumped by her long-term lover.
The men would not forgo the chance of a feast.
I still love him and would never forsake him.
They halted at a short distance from the house.
She was jilted by her first fiancé.
He does not intend to relinquish power.
Synonyms of ‘abandon‘
Additional synonyms
He renounced his claim to the throne.
She had to surrender all rights to her property.
He pled guilty to the charges and waived his right to appeal.
He may yield control.
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Here are some words related to Abandonment that leaped out & need scriptural countering:
- leave
- desert
- renounce
- relinquish
- break
- expose
- strand
- terminate
- discard
- shun
- disown
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Here are some opposites for abandon, & more scriptural curatives:
- Continue
- maintain
- defend
- uphold
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Turning to Betrayed, first a definition:
betray
(bɪtreɪ)
Word forms: 3rd person singular present tense betrays, present participle betraying, past tense, past participle betrayed
1. verb
betrayer Word forms: plural betrayers countable noun
2. verb
betrayer countable noun
3. verb
4. verb
betray in British
(bɪˈtreɪ)
verb(transitive)
3. to disclose (a secret, confidence, etc) treacherously
5. to disappoint the expectations of; fail
7. to reveal unintentionally
betrayal (beˈtrayal)
betrayer (beˈtrayer)
C13: from be- + trayen from Old French trair, from Latin trādere
betray in American
(biˈtreɪ; bɪˈtreɪ)
verb transitive
1. a. to help the enemy of (one’s country, cause, etc.); be a traitor to
b. to deliver or expose to an enemy traitorously
3. to lead astray; deceive; specif., to seduce and then desert
4. to reveal unknowingly or against one’s wishes
5. to reveal or show signs of; indicate
6. to disclose (secret information, confidential plans, etc.)
betrayal (beˈtrayal)
betrayer (beˈtrayer)
ME bitraien < be-, intens. + traien, betray < OFr trair < L tradere, to hand over: see treason
Synonyms for betray
verb be disloyal to
Synonyms
- be disloyal to
- break with
- grass on
- double-cross
- stab in the back
- be unfaithful to
- sell down the river
- grass up
- shop
- put the finger on
- inform on or against
Synonyms for betray
verb to be treacherous to
Synonyms
verb to disclose in a breach of confidence
Synonyms for betray
verb reveal unintentionally
verb deliver to an enemy by treachery
verb disappoint, prove undependable to
Synonyms
Related Words
verb be sexually unfaithful to one’s partner in marriage
verb give away information about somebody
verb cause someone to believe an untruth
Synonyms of ‘betray‘
He might be seen as having betrayed his mother.
She studied his face, but it betrayed nothing.
Quotation
To betray, you must first belong
Additional synonyms
He deserted our team years ago.
clapboard façades that revolve to disclose snug interiors
He was charged with divulging state secrets.
Synonyms of ‘betray‘
Additional synonyms
They were frightened of being double-crossed.
He had never, hitherto, evinced any particular interest in economic matters.
After the scandal was exposed, he moved abroad.
I still love him and would never forsake him.
She was jilted by her first fiancé.
He’s only convincing when that inner fury manifests itself.
She has refused to reveal her daughter’s whereabouts.
Fraudsters are often shopped by honest friends and neighbours.
She had enough time to show her gratitude.
Synonyms of ‘betray‘
Additional synonyms
Auditors said they had uncovered evidence of fraud.
Elliott unmasked the master spy and traitor.
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Here are some of the synonyms for Betrayal that jumped out at me, and some scriptural refutations:
- traitor
- reveal
- treacherous
- unfaithful
- uncover
- disloyal
- cheat
- defraud
- denounce
- unmask
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Unfortunately there were no antonyms given for betray, so these are implied:
- faithful
- loyal
- integrity
- protect
- defend
- champion
- hero
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Turning to the final sting, Deceived:
First a definition…
Definition of ‘deceive’
deceive
(dɪsiːv)
Word forms: 3rd person singular present tense deceives, present participle deceiving, past tense, past participle deceived
1. verb
2. verb
3. verb
deceive in British
(dɪˈsiːv)
verb (transitive)
1. to mislead by deliberate misrepresentation or lies
2. to delude (oneself)
3. to be unfaithful to (one’s sexual partner)
4. archaic to disappoint
deceivable (deˈceivable)
deceivably (deˈceivably)
deceivableness (deˈceivableness) or deceivability (deˌceivaˈbility)
deceiver (deˈceiver)
deceiving (deˈceiving)
deceivingly (deˈceivingly)
C13: from Old French deceivre, from Latin dēcipere to ensnare, cheat, from capere to take
deceive in American
(diˈsiv; dɪˈsiv)
verb transitiveWord forms: deˈceived or deˈceiving
1. to make (a person) believe what is not true; delude; mislead
3. Archaic to while away (time)
verb intransitive
4. to use deceit; lie
SYNONYMY NOTE: deceive implies deliberate misrepresentation of facts by words, actions, etc., generally to further one’s ends [deceived into buying fraudulent stocks]; to mislead is to cause to follow the wrong course or to err in conduct or action, although not always by deliberate deception [misled by the sign into going to the wrong floor]; beguile implies the use of wiles and enticing prospects in deceiving or misleading [beguiled by promises of a fortune]; to delude is to fool someone so completely that what is false is accepted as being true; , betray implies a breaking of faith while appearing to be loyal
deceivable (deˈceivable)
deceiver (deˈceiver)
deceivingly (deˈceivingly)
ME deceiven < OFr deceveir < L decipere, to ensnare, deceive < de-, from + capere, to take: see have
verb take in
Synonyms for deceive
Synonyms for deceive
verb be false to
verb cause someone to believe an untruth
Synonyms
Related Words
Antonyms
Synonyms of ‘deceive‘
idiom
Additional synonyms
He was bamboozled by conmen.
He used his newspapers to beguile his readers.
He cheated an old woman out of her life savings.
Synonyms of ‘deceive‘
Additional synonyms
She claimed that a fraudster had conned her out of her life savings.The British motorist has been conned by the government.
We delude ourselves that we are in control.
They were frightened of being double-crossed.
Some of the offenders duped the psychologists.
Art dealers fool a lot of people.
He recently hoaxed a number of celebrities.
Many people are hoodwinked by the so-called beauty industry.
Are you sure you’re not kidding me?I’m just kidding.
Ministers knowingly misled the public.
Synonyms of ‘deceive‘
Additional synonyms
He swindled investors out of millions of pounds.
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These are some of the synonyms of deceived that stood out to me which are thus in most need of scriptural remediation:
- lie
- ensnare
- delude
- swindle
- lead astray
- entrap
- mislead
- trick
- trap
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There was only one antonym shared, undeceive, so I added a few implied opposite meanings to round out the scriptural treasure hunt:
- undeceive
- inform
- correct
- tell the truth to
- include
- set free
- Redeemed
- delivered
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Well, that’s the end of the meat of this post, counteracting negative expanded meanings of those “old tapes” with the light & life of scriptural truth!
Before closing with some final scriptural images & encouragements I wanted to share a few stream of consciousness insights that cropped up while creating this post:
- ” betray implies a breaking of faith while appearing to be loyal”
- This concept may be partly why these memories can be accompanied by such pain, for the betrayer was often so deceptive in their creative destruction of heart, mind, & soul…& relationship…
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- “to rebuff; esp., to deny acceptance, care, love, etc. to (someone) a rejected child”
- When many of the painful incidents that still rear their heads occurred I had no understanding of the basis for the lack of acceptance so no clear path to either remedying or avoiding it…
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- “A reject is a product that has not been accepted for use or sale, because there is something wrong with it.”
- The “something wrong with it” concept is a mental double-edged sword:
- Is there in actuality something “wrong” with me that needs fixing?
- Is this more a case of being rejected by the world because of attempting to live by more Christ-like standards in more secular arenas?
- The “something wrong with it” concept is a mental double-edged sword:
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- discard–one of the ugly synonyms that leaped out
- If the world around me finds me as trash can I still be treasured in God’s eyes?
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- “If you abandon an activity or piece of work, you stop doing it before it is finished.”
- From the spiritual perspective, as long as we live on the planet we are still the Lord’s unfinished masterpiece; He’ll never abandon His perfecting purposes!
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- “If a person’s body rejects something such as a new heart that has been transplanted into it, it tries to attack and destroy it.”
- This is another concept that I am looking at two ways:
- Outside elements and individuals as well as internal mental processes & dwelling on past darkness & despair can try to attack & destroy me…
- The “new heart” concept aligns with Christian & biblical teaching so conversely, as I attempt to apply the many scriptural truths (such as gathered throughout this post) it’s likely that those “old tapes” will still rise up trying to attack & destroy the new life sought to reanimate & reinvigorate the old heart that was battered, bruised, & betrayed–This is surely to remain a lifelong personal battle to some degree.
- This is another concept that I am looking at two ways:
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- anti-rejection meds–one of my son’s is a Liver Transplant recipient who will likely require life-long medication to supress his body’s immunological response–a paradoxical natural process whereby the new organ, though necessary & lifegiving, is attempted to be destroyed as a foreign invader–a process the Creator designed that under “normal” circumstances could potentially save him could now conceivably diminish or even destroy his life…two opposite thoughts here too:
- My pulverized psyche has lived the bulk of my life with those “old tapes” shaping certain personal perspectives & perceptions & those “tapes” could act immunosuppressively to thwart the “new heart” scriptural truth overlay. In this very imperfect metaphor I envision an old heart/new heart continuing transformative process instead of a one-time spiritual “transplant” surgery. In a sense it’s a matter of choice & the will–do we turn toward & be reborn in The Light or do we stayed bowed, deceived, defeated in The Darkness?
- Alternatively, those “anti-rejection” meds represent the process of transforming the old heart defeated & in despair into a heart set-free from the bondage & deceptions & brutality of it’s lifelong journey. There is a choice here, embrace the Light & Truth of the Lord & His Word (regardless of feelings & memories) or hang on to the lies of the “old tapes” permitting them both dominance & definition of one’s very existence…
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- On a final note, here’s a little family history perspective based on this one synonym discovered–LZ (loser)
- L.Z. Munger, or Leroy Zolvan Munger was my grandfather’s great-grandfather & in historical documents he often was referred to as L.Z., though the definition above was likely not in common use for it’s highly unlikely he’d overtly call himself “loser”…
- My grandfather, E.M. Stoddard, was likely named after his mother’s grandfather for his given names are Elzine Munger, which sounds a lot like L.Z. Munger, though this nomenclature history is speculative on my part.
- My grandpa pretty much hated his given names (rejecting the LZ=loser labeling) and went by E.M., El, Al, or Lefty. He didn’t allow others to box him in nor did he accept their (mis)perceptions of him.
- When in school my grandpa was not a very good student, in fact he kept his best report card, all C’s I believe, in his personal effects to be discovered after he was gone. One of his teachers often berated him & told him to his face as a man “see I knew you’d never amount to anything” while he sold her gas & cared for her car in his “Stoddard’s Superior Service” gas station–he even extended her credit during WWII era rationing & scrip usage–I don’t know if she ever paid her material debts, though she certainly never paid the immaterial ones!
- Anyway, grandpa was left-handed, hence “Lefty”, and grew up in the era when this “sinister” tendency was to be beaten out of the child so he was made to use his right hand through punitive actions against his person. He never finished high-school and may have felt inferior, at least educationally, to my grandma who was one class shy of a bachelor’s degree & worked as a teacher.
- Well, grandpa was a self-made man, a strong father, a loving husband, a rough-edged yet playful grandfather, a respected friend, & a sage. He didn’t let lies spoken to him or abuses visited upon him stop him from living a life of integrity, hard work, service, & sacrifice. He was a true Wounded Warrior!
- Like my grandpa before me certain people & circumstances have combined to sear my soul in subterranean though pervasive pain. My (grand) Father also bore the scars of suffering. He provides an encouraging example of a life well-lived and worthy of the Call of Christ! I hope that my baby steps in my grandfather’s overcoming footsteps will strengthen me as I purpose my heart to continue this journey on the path my Father illuminates & strengthens me to press on in the tumultuous though ultimately triumphant-in-Christ travels of a yielded, wounded, transformed soldier in service of the Cross!
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Here are some final scriptures & encouraging images to fortify us for the transformative journey we’ve undertaken. May God Bless YOU Richly as you yield yourself to His molding, becoming pliant in the Master Potter’s Hands. May we each become vessels fit for service & overflowing with Living Water to soothe other travel-wearied soldiers along that path of peace and purpose ultimately terminating in Paradise!
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If you’ve made it this far, you may appreciate this post I also did elsewhere:
https://pioneerperspectives.wordpress.com/2019/07/14/legalism-lies-liberty/
Took me all day to get through this, even with scrolling through or skimming most of the definitions. But I knew it was worth it, very glad and encouraged you’re talking visible steps on the path to healing, to the only One with true healing to offer. Really encouraging, and what an interesting bit of family history! Lord bless you, Mom!
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Thanks Brandon for slogging through with me again! You are a champion in the mold of your father & Our Father! May the Lord also provide His balm to your soul for those broken places that still need reassembly…
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Finding myself in a place of pounding, persistent pain I returned to this post & thankfully found refreshment in The Word! I hope/pray that you too might be blessed here through Christ’s ministry of love, grace, peace, joy, comfort, & hope. Blessings!
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